Icecrown Citadel, 10-player, 19 May 2010

With our main tank away sunning himself on the Gold Coast, erm, I mean, working hard at a company team-building event, it fell to Sapphrina and me to get today's raid going. Biggest problem: Get a replacement tank. Considering what happened last time we ran with a pug tank we were aiming low, only hoping to clear the Lower Spire. Not too ambitious, surely?

We invite all the usual suspects, leaving us short a healer as well as a tank. Not to worry, enter a pally healer, geared to the teeth. The dps slots fill up. With Legga still not having his gear back we invite a DK, despite him having "dk" as part of his name. Still no tank in sight. Pally healer offers to tank instead. Ok, so now we need another healer. Found a holy priest, and the group is complete.

What is it with pug tanks that they all have a problem with the concept of "off-tank"? We're barely buffed and pug tank runs in, pulls a lot of stuff (not sure what exactly because my healbot bars were exploding with red), typing in raid chat "HEAL!". This is the first pull and I already feel I want to let the tank die to teach him a badly-needed lesson. Pro tip: If you want a heal, don't antagonize the healer.

Chain pulls all the way to Marrowgar, and I spend the entire set of trash pulls with "low mana" warnings across my screen. Another pro tip: If you want a heal, make sure your healer has mana to heal you with.

Despite this unpromising start, Marrowgar goes down on the first try, although several people die. I guess we're outgearing Marrowgar now to the extent that we can make up for a couple of dead dps. One tank mace which I allocate scrupulously fairly, and one shard. Neat. Maybe this will work out after all.

I'm still fighting Blizzard's non-intuitive master loot interface when the pug tank types "pulling trash now". I point out in a resigned manner that the group is short a healer but hey, he starts anyway. I arrive at the top just in time to help avoid a trash wipe. The room is cleared of trash, though in a rather more exciting manner than we normally accomplish this. The BoE gun drops, and Moongereb wins the free roll.

Since everybody claimed to know the fight, we start without further ado. There seem to be more and more adds up. Completely overwhelmed, we wipe. Key learning moment: Even if nobody owns up to not knowing the fight, explain it at least briefly anyway. Rather than take a few moments for revision, we pull again almost immediately. Adds trample all over the raid, we wipe instantly. Mutterings in guild chat about getting V a laptop so he can tank from Queensland.

Attempt number 3. People get told explicitly what kind of targets they should be on, and it gets a little better. Except that there are more and more adds, on everyone, including me. Healbot indicates a staggering 100% of the raid is afflicted by Curse of Torpor -- a record. Dispelling that would take me 10 whole seconds, even with no further curses being cast. Wipe.

Attempt number 4. With excellent direction from Asisia, who has started to issue individual instructions during the fight in vent on who should attack what at any point, we get the mana shield down and start the encounter proper. Some adds still up. Hero. Frost bolts wreak havoc in the raid (interrupts would be good here). Dead dps galore but the Lady finally succumbs. Phew. Morticus picks up her excellent healer boots.

At the top we find that the weekly is the Frost Giant again. We decide to give that a go -- five free emblems and a bit of gold are not to be sneezed at. We clear the trash at the front, and do a brief recap on what to do when infected with his Disease of Death. Raid damage is enormous, getting knocked into the air is annoying (and interrupts casting), people explode from the disease and we wipe. Undaunted, we try again. The second attempt goes better, we blow hero (!) and though we end up knee-deep in dead dps and healers, the remainder just manages to get him down. Well done, those who stayed upright!

On to the gun ship. Nice, easy fight, we thought, and we don't mind about hero being unavailable because it's not needed on the gunship. Pug tank is told to stay on our side and deal with the adds, while Asisia gets a chance to play with rocket packs. The health of the other ship seems to be dropping rather slowly, and I gradually become aware that I'm recasting my water shield every few seconds. This means I must be taking damage. Am I standing in a rocket target area? No. So what am I taking damage from...? Ah yes, the axe throwers on the other ship use me for target practice. Then their mates with the melee axes on our ship join in as well. This means I am a shinier object than either tank. Oh dear, not good. I end the fight with zero health but, thanks to the constant damage to my water shield, full mana. I generally prefer things the other way around. Wipe.

Sapphrina and I are already discussing calling it without even attempting Saurfang, which sounds like the way to go. But we do want the gunship down. Taking a deep breath, we all rally around, try again, and down goes the ship! Yay! Again no resto shammy hat in the loot but a nice dagger. I'd have liked to give it to Shamaee who had the higher roll but with MP5 on it the pug healer had priority. Sorry, Shamaee, but rules are rules...

We call it at that point, with some relief. The pug tank tops it all by ordering peremptorily "Port!" without bothering with any kind of common courtesy. Asisia calls him out on it and he leaves the group. Several people expanded their "ignore" lists by 1.

We forgot to roll on the shards so they are in the guild bank.

Key Facts

• Ratio of bosses downed vs wipes: 0.8
• Number of half-wit, selfish, incompetent, moronic, rude pillocks in run: 1
• Number of occasions people openly wished Vehement was back: Lots

See you all on Monday for the continuation when Vehement will be back; Saurfang has only won a short reprieve!